PRL 2012

Round Four brings with it the PRL’s first “Battle Of The Birds”. 2nd Division sides, Peachfield Galahs and Croydon Park Canaries, will face off for the first time in a season that has thusfar seen them flying anywhere but high.

To celebrate the lack of history involved with the unfounded tradition, Canaries management hired a Russian design company online to create a one-off retro programme for the event. Sadly, the company – who cannot be traced – used Google images and a poor grasp of English to create the booklet’s front and back covers.

Front Cover

Back Cover

Greg Bird was not available for comment, but a tweet is expected.

In an unremarkable non-deviation of events, Dave Fletcher – of new 2nd Division side, Schloss’ Shoe-Ins – has taken a mere 7 1/2 NRL games to suggest that tackles in the NRL should score points for players in the PRL.

Like 37 PRL club chairpersons before him, Fletcher piped up during the Monday night Souths match, then – upon realising the stupidity of his suggestion – immediately retracted it. He is now in a perfect position to shout down other newcomers (pictured), when they foolishly make similar suggestions in the coming weeks.

Fletcher didn't turn up on Auction Day, but the bloke who broke the salary cap on his behalf is the guy biting his fingernails

In some rare good news for New South Wales supporters, feeder club Old South Wales has won the Northern Rail Cup 30 – 28. Although largely unsung in New South Wales, names such as Scott Leatherbarrow would have a welcome place in a 2012 State of Origin squad, if only because they are a bit funny.

Full report: www.leatherbarrow.com

PRL 2012 begins this Thursday evening. APLs & Squads as well as the full draw for 2012 are available now by navigating the links above. Round One squads are due at midnight on Wednesday.

DIVISION ONE

Finals Week One

GBH Rage v BYE
Qualifying Final: Trivia Mania Maniacs def Kamikaze Daydream Pilots
Quantifying Final: Stanmore Stackhats def Scumbag PRLFC

Finals Week Two

Major Semi: GBH Rage def Trivia Mania Maniacs
Minor Diminished Semi Demi: Kamikaze Daydream Pilots def Stanmore Stackhats

Finals Week Three

Precursory Final: Kamikaze Daydream Pilots def Trivia Mania Maniacs

Finals Week Four

Le Grande Finale: Kamikaze Daydream Pilots def GBH Rage

DIVISION TWO

Finals Week One

Founder Monotremes v BYE
Qualifying Final: Cocko’s Sluggers def Steve Mavin’s Swan Dive
Disqualifying Final: Wesley Savages def St. Peters Horse

Finals Week Two

Major Semi: Founder Monotremes def Cocko’s Sluggers
Minor Major 7th Double Flat 5th: Steve Mavin’s Swan Dive def Wesley Savages

Finals Week Three

Precursory Final: Cocko’s Sluggers def Steve Mavin’s Swan Dive

Finals Week Four

Le Grande Finale: Cocko’s Sluggers def Founder Monotremes

In a Daily Telegraph exclusive, here is the first sighting of the Phil Gould “doodle” that he alleges was leaked by PRL Chief-in-Chief, Donald Rinkin personally:

The Christian radio host who predicted the world would end over the weekend announced that he is ready to talk to NSW Origin coach, Ricky Stuart, about why the apocalypse didn’t arrive. Stuart, who it appears will now lead NSW into its sixth straight series loss, was counting on the predicted pretribulation Rapture to save his side from certain on-field doom.

NSW Blues 2011 Team Bus

Harold Camping had forecast that some 200 million people would be saved, and warned that those left behind would die in earthquakes, plagues and other scourges until the globe was consumed by a fireball on Oct 21st. No Queensland or NSW players were likely to be retained by God after the reshuffle.

His earlier apocalyptic prediction in 1994 was also inaccurate, but he claimed it failed because all he used to make the prediction was one reel of 1/2-inch tape and a patch bay with only two working patch leads. He chose this set-up after hearing a guest lecture by Steve Albini at a drum store in Oakland, CA.

The Famous Harold Camping Equipment

Gunther Von Harringa, who heads a religious organisation that produces content for Camping’s media enterprise, said he was “very surprised” the Rapture did not happen as predicted, but said he and other believers were in good spirits.

“We’re still searching the Scriptures to understand why it did not happen,” said Von Harringa, president of Bible Ministries International, which he operates from his home. “It’s just a matter of OK, Lord, where do we go from here?”

Camping is likely to be sacked by NSW, but this will provide little relief to Stuart and his foreordained squad of the condemned.

Not since the South Sydney Rabbitohs’ decision to forgo cheerleaders has a Rugby League club made such a progressive statement through its marketing and branding. This week, in a first for PRL clubs, Division Two side, The (international) Showstoppers unveiled a campaign to promote a series of new “fan hand signals” which can be used by fans at Showstoppers matches, at the pub or even around the house.

The hand signals were designed with the hearing impaired and “low talkers” in mind, but will delight fans of all ages and abilities. Jared Robinson, of television’s Ridgey Didge fame will be on hand at Showboat Stadium in Round Nine to help launch the new campaign.

The overestimation of the potential impact of Greg Inglis in 2011 has this week reached new heights. Last week SportsTAB made headlines for installing the Rabbitohs as 7/1 shots to win the 2011 NRL Premiership.

This week, as displayed below, onthepunt.com has listed Greg Inglis alone on his own line of betting at the top of the market. Bookmakers are yet to post specific odds, but the betting site is obviously expecting a slew of quotes for GI to become the first player to win the competition on his own, with or without a club.

Ryan Tandy is not listed, but was quoted at slightly narrower odds to single-handedly finish ahead of Cronulla